My god I can't possibly think its true -_-"".... But all my friends even people whom I don't really know are all yes wait for it..........getting..........married -_-"". Seriously I have nothing against people getting married, I'm not jealous or anything but I just have this wrap up logic about marriages and all. Probably because for the last 20 yrs of my life I don't even have a single bf at all. Yes I have suitors, lots of them but they are all material boys, men's who look at my makeup face. But once I remove every inch of my makeup they run -_-"". So ladies out there who are getting married at a young age I'm not shock neither am I surprise. Its simply none of my business and pls don't go post don't be shock cause nothing can shock me anymore then to realize I have had terrible acne again -_-"". But as the sadist I am today cause of my pms do let me know if any of your life goes up in smoke cause I will be really interested then. And one more thing to note to all sales person out there if yah gonna sell anything to me be prepare for me to shoot the hell outta u even though u don't meant any harm but seriously give me a break I dont give a fuck who the hell u are just let me shop in peace and stop recommending me products for my face as I have been eating doctor medicine and will be for my whole life. Thank you.

So basically this is just another random post of my thoughts for the upcoming months since I can't sleep. It is just me or am I really so dam insecure about my abilities and myself? I feel stuck. Like I'm nowhere where I need to be as a makeup artist nor as a CSO (customer service officer. I know I got say this before alot of times, too many times to lost count I even wrote an entry on my Iphone note. It seems that I don't like changes be it on job or life. I might not seem like it but once I like something I stick to it for life until the thing is out of stock or simply gone forever. I hate probation and all as I can't really tell whether I'll be hired anot especially for my current job now. In Sephora it was okay all you need to do is to be able to sell and all and I know I can do it and hit the target set for whatever brand I'm in charge of. And I'm a very good salesperson and talker so beware.....But of course I sell and do things with a conscience. But i my current job as a CSO I feel pressurized to do alot more and to remember all the landmarks and all of the shops be it in the arrival hall/ departure hall or transit areas. I feel I just can't do it or simply cause I'm not use to it or I'm just plain dumb. I have this niggling feeling that I have become dumber after my horrible horrible acne attack. Maybe it's the syndrome of staying at home for too long and all but seriously I feel reborn again like I been strip away of everything. A shell of my former self be it my figure, skin, knowledge, everything. And I getting more and more scare because all my classmates even those that are not so talkative as me seem to be able to remember at least something but I just can't. And I really pray that this won't be the fastest job I ever had other than the 1 at the makeup store -_-''''......If all else fails, time for plan b. Which is go be air stewardess. Simple. After writing this post I won't wanna even go think about it anymore. Just bloody do it and till september you shall see me again, unless I have something new to write about or some juicy gossips(i'm not a gossip kinda gurl) which involves killing people or backstabbing people be it either way round. Afterall this is then the real working world. Ciaos

If what my trainer say is true that I'm too defensive for myself I rather have no friends than those fake friends by my side. Cause I simply learn from mistakes. Anyone from work you cant really trust. There will be a time when the opportunity arises they will take a stab at you for their own gains. That I can be doubly sure of. Cause nobody ain't a saint, including me. Ciaos