I'm going for surgery on 2nd November. And I'm no longer working in changi airport neither am I working in sephora anymore. But I'm going back into makeup that's all I can say.

How the hell did I get so broke?....... I meant I'm not so broke as to I can't even feed myself or pay for some small expenses of my own, but the things I lust after, my god. Seriously.....And I still wanna go for plastic surgery end of this year if the company never renew my contract with them after end of this september....The feeling suxs.....And I'm sure everyone in the company is feeling the heat too. And maybe it's cause I just started working not long ago this year and I never really keep track of my expenses and all that's why I ended up like this now or simply to say I'm a terrible spendthrift which I'm gonna admit I really am. I'm a sucker for makeup/brushes/bags......Anyway back to the topic if all else didn't work out like the way I plan well its either back to sephora and work my ass off in pushing sales again or I might join cabin crew for quick and easy money or simply do something else with my life instead of thinking of the impossible for now at least. It take sheer determination and hard work and I seriously doubt my ability to have both of this instill in me. But as a gurl sometimes you can't help but envy others for what they have like beauty/brains/fantastic luxury things.....Afterall give me a break I'm still human, no saint myself either. But I'm sure everyone think this way from time to time, if I was so rich I wouldn't be bother about anything in life concerning money, I will just worry about other things. But I one thing I learn is not to let the situation control you, you control the situation and the outcome you wanna have. Afterall money is not everything in this world, although it probably help if yah rich to began with.

Conflicts in the workplace is rifle. Since I started this job I dono how many countless rumors I have heard about me and my mentor. Mostly about me though. Like how I make my mentor cry, I'm difficult to work with, I'm this and like that and alot more which I'm sure haven't spread to my ears yet. I just wanna work, do the job, get the pay, go paris further advance my makeup career, get plastic surgery. Maybe sephora I didn't feel that pressure as much cause I started with a small store and all my colleagues except some are you know, but I at least manage to distant myself away from them -_-'''..... This new work place is an exception and I dono I already feel suffocated. But I'll do my best if they don't renew contract with me I also don't mind I know as a makeup artist I can survive anywhere since the makeup industry is also already a bitch to start with -_-'''. If this doesn't work out I might go join aircrew as the pay is better. I need money now more then ever to fulfill my dreams. Pls God I never beg you so hard for anything in my life before I just only want to go to paris and study makeup that's all. I dono what the future might holds or what might happen in the near future but all I wanna do now is to be surrounded by the ones I trust and love and do my job, get the pay, that's it. I don't really wanna think too much for now. Ciaos

My god I can't possibly think its true -_-"".... But all my friends even people whom I don't really know are all yes wait for it..........getting..........married -_-"". Seriously I have nothing against people getting married, I'm not jealous or anything but I just have this wrap up logic about marriages and all. Probably because for the last 20 yrs of my life I don't even have a single bf at all. Yes I have suitors, lots of them but they are all material boys, men's who look at my makeup face. But once I remove every inch of my makeup they run -_-"". So ladies out there who are getting married at a young age I'm not shock neither am I surprise. Its simply none of my business and pls don't go post don't be shock cause nothing can shock me anymore then to realize I have had terrible acne again -_-"". But as the sadist I am today cause of my pms do let me know if any of your life goes up in smoke cause I will be really interested then. And one more thing to note to all sales person out there if yah gonna sell anything to me be prepare for me to shoot the hell outta u even though u don't meant any harm but seriously give me a break I dont give a fuck who the hell u are just let me shop in peace and stop recommending me products for my face as I have been eating doctor medicine and will be for my whole life. Thank you.

So basically this is just another random post of my thoughts for the upcoming months since I can't sleep. It is just me or am I really so dam insecure about my abilities and myself? I feel stuck. Like I'm nowhere where I need to be as a makeup artist nor as a CSO (customer service officer. I know I got say this before alot of times, too many times to lost count I even wrote an entry on my Iphone note. It seems that I don't like changes be it on job or life. I might not seem like it but once I like something I stick to it for life until the thing is out of stock or simply gone forever. I hate probation and all as I can't really tell whether I'll be hired anot especially for my current job now. In Sephora it was okay all you need to do is to be able to sell and all and I know I can do it and hit the target set for whatever brand I'm in charge of. And I'm a very good salesperson and talker so beware.....But of course I sell and do things with a conscience. But i my current job as a CSO I feel pressurized to do alot more and to remember all the landmarks and all of the shops be it in the arrival hall/ departure hall or transit areas. I feel I just can't do it or simply cause I'm not use to it or I'm just plain dumb. I have this niggling feeling that I have become dumber after my horrible horrible acne attack. Maybe it's the syndrome of staying at home for too long and all but seriously I feel reborn again like I been strip away of everything. A shell of my former self be it my figure, skin, knowledge, everything. And I getting more and more scare because all my classmates even those that are not so talkative as me seem to be able to remember at least something but I just can't. And I really pray that this won't be the fastest job I ever had other than the 1 at the makeup store -_-''''......If all else fails, time for plan b. Which is go be air stewardess. Simple. After writing this post I won't wanna even go think about it anymore. Just bloody do it and till september you shall see me again, unless I have something new to write about or some juicy gossips(i'm not a gossip kinda gurl) which involves killing people or backstabbing people be it either way round. Afterall this is then the real working world. Ciaos

If what my trainer say is true that I'm too defensive for myself I rather have no friends than those fake friends by my side. Cause I simply learn from mistakes. Anyone from work you cant really trust. There will be a time when the opportunity arises they will take a stab at you for their own gains. That I can be doubly sure of. Cause nobody ain't a saint, including me. Ciaos

I'm Valene Oon. I'm unique. I'm one of a kind. I'm everything I can be. I know I'm precious and lovely. And no I'm not mad. I love and treasure myself alot. I love God, family and friends. Even try to love my enemies. I have so much things to say. But my lappy crash just now which suxs -_-''', so anyway here is a very short post only. 1--Working at Changi Airport now. No longer in Sephora. Do not jump to conclusion. 2--CSO are really amazing people. I would call them genius because of the alot alot of things they need to remember. 3--New classmates and people I'm meeting everyday in my life since I started a new job. I'm scare and anticipating who there to stay and who there to kill. I'm not afraid to say this nor even let anybody see this. Cause after all to err is human and with humans you can never know neither can they be too predictable. 4--I will never drive my mum anywhere else ever again. I dono how to phrase this but seriously everytime she is in my car when I'm driving bad things always happen. >_<''', no I'm not cursing her or anything but it happens too many times until I'm scare I will really get into a car accident one of these days with her in the car. She is putting too much pressure on me, I just CAN'T have her around when I'm driving. When I drive others or am alone I'm so good and steady, but once she is in the car that's it, I'm a goner. 5--I feel like I'm back to school again. Remembering all the things that are a MUST to remember. I didn't know that there are so many things in Changi Airport to remember. 6--I feel very honor to be able to touch a real aircraft in my life. =) never have I seen and touch a real one in my life so I'm very grateful and thankful I have got this chance. 7--I'm trying to save money for alot of things and hopefully I can and am able to do it. 8--Once again I would like to express my thanks to my closest friends. They are the only thing keeping me sane in this insane world. And grateful to the Lord, God for putting them around me and to Him too. Love you father, amen. So this is what I'm going through now. And I'm a survivor I believe I am and will be able to come out alive once again. Till next time... Ciaos.